Life has changed a lot. Friends have come and gone. Who’s with me for the last ride? I know my wife is, but outside of my married world, I have doubts and an emptiness at times. 40 makes you so dang gone reflective.
I’ve come a long way. A lot of people I could not bring with me as I changed lanes and gears. Did I let people die? Why couldn’t I get them to keep up? Why? Why the termination of years of friendship built on agape, shattering into pieces or getting parked as I rode on. My fault? Was I actually their hero? Was I their compass for life? Did I change their lives for the worst, or not keep them balanced. Was I the answer in their conscious equation? Was I their cold shower when they were about to make a stupid decision? Are they puzzled or mad at me?
I’m just a man. That’s all I am. That’s all I can be at my core. A man. A man who has set his compass to walk with the Lord. I’m not perfect, but I give it my best shot each day.
I’m not going to see some of you again and that is a sad truth. Maybe we reconciled, maybe we really didn’t. Maybe you felt like I got in the driver’s seat, lit the road ablaze and forgot about you. I didn’t, but this is how life has played out. You were a chapter in my book of life and I was one in yours. We may meet again. We might hang again. All I can do is remain hopeful that time and distance has not been a fork in the road that never comes back together until we are on the other side of Heaven.