Welcome to Life. It’s a supermarket and on every aisle, in every bin, on every shelf, in each freezer unit, on the endcaps, and all around you are labels. You will wear one and be sold by what your label states.
Be careful with what your label states. People are known to be snobs. You’re lean, but does that mean that you taste like cardboard? Your fat content seems high, will you just migrate your intentions to my thighs? Are you really sugar-free because you don’t look like a lemon to me?
Why are the Spaghetti-Os even near the real Italian section? Get back over there to the can food section where you belong. There is no high opera in your tasteless song. There is more to flavor than just salt.
So you’re 50% off? What’s wrong with you? You can’t be fresh. Are you day old stale? Maybe you are fresh. So fresh that I can’t take you home to my family. You may be fine like wine, but your attitude is beer cheap.
You may be fine like wine, but your attitude is beer cheap. Why can’t you be in the middle like the wine cooler? It’s all fake depression impersonating upliftment when in reality the Sweet is the Low wolf in sheep’s clothing laying waste to bodily internals.
Cleanup needed on aisle 4. Are you checking out via the self-checkout, the regular lane, or the express lane? Peter will see your receipt before you exit the door. Just in case you try to take it all with you.