Am I Failing

Some times I wonder if I am failing. Failing at life that is. There are so many people to please, so many to support in varying capacities, and so many looking for a hero. I cannot be all things to all people, yet the expectation seems to be there. I am flawed. I’m not Superman. He’s not even my favorite superhero.

I prefer Iron Man and Batman. Their human skills associated with technology intrigue me more. They too are far from perfect as well. Maybe there is some relationship there; not perfect and misunderstood, but called upon in the time of greatest need because of having the tools to get the job done.

I’ve been told that I am depressed. Not by a doctor mind you, but what the heck. Why not believe the untrained person? Yes. I’m depressed. Pushed down to the lower realms of thinking and feeling. I sink slowly like in quicksand, unless pressed upon, then the action moves faster.

Can I save myself? Sure. Why not? The damage could be greater than initially calculated. I can’t bear the thought of a nuclear type fallout. It’s fine for me to risk it all, but endangering others should not have to happen.

What are you going to do Robert. If you perish, every perishes. If you break out, then you risk blowing things sky high. Is the risk worth it. Is there an alternative? Fright, flight, or fight. Make up your mind.

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4 Comments

  1. Sondra Brooks says:

    I know how you feel. Been there. Been there. Been there. Think of it like a ball that is deflated. Sure you can push your finger into and find it “depresses”. But after a while you will finally get the pump and inflate it again. While this is not poetic…. you get the point. Take time for yourself. Here’s a bear hug from GA.

    1. Thanks cuz. Things are better. I was feeling at the bottom of the barrel, but things are getting better for sure.

  2. Ant Pruitt says:

    Keep battling, my friend.
    I have traveled a similar road. It is a challenge each day, but it’s a beatable challenge. At least that’s what my faith is telling me.

    Holla if you need an ear or something. You know exactly how to get a hold of me.

    -RAP, II

    1. Thanks Ant. Things are better. It was a tough time, but weathered, helped, and moving in a more positive direction.

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